dear Kakak..

 

This, explains result UPSR Kakak and how she, and we feel about it.

I understand to the eyes of a 12yo, this is a big thing, especially when the teachers targeted her to get straight A’s. While she was trying to cope with emotion of not getting what she wanted, I was trying hard myself – to cope seeing her so sad and broken. A senior at work once told me, when children are babies, we are physically exhausted. When they grow up, we are emotionally challenged.

I actually knew her result before she did. I text-ed the sms-system provided. And alhamdulillah, when the reply came, I was calm and composed. I have prayed for the best things for her and insyaAllah this, is the best for her. Of course I wanted her to get what she wanted – 5A’s. Nonetheless, I have taught myself to accept and embrace my children strengths and weaknesses alike. 

Dear Kakak, 

In life, you have to learn how to win but you must know how to accept defeat. Your life journey is way ahead of you from where you are now. There will be many wins and defeats, laughter and cries, happiness and sadness, successes and failures. I want you to embrace your life to the fullest. Sometimes we need to lose so we know the meaning of winning. Sometimes after we cry we appreciate more of the things that make us laugh. At times we will be happier after undergoing sadness. Sometimes we fail many times before we can have a taste the sweetness of success. Sometimes we fall, we hurt but most importantly we must get up and stand again. Those are life lessons what will teach you many things. You will be a strong person. You will be able to get your principles right and stick to those. And you will be able to always stand for your rights. And my utmost hope and prayer is that, for you to be able to stand on your own two feet when we’re gone. 

Dear Kakak, 

My friends convey their congratulations to you. They say do not worry too much about grades at this point. They say value life as a whole, not solely on what is written on the result slip. They say, not getting what you wanted in not the end of everything. Everything ends when you stop striving for the better. They say you have others talents and you must never forget that. 

I totally agree. 

Those are exactly my thoughts as well. 

of forced-leave and resepi 'sunburnt' donuts

Salam Maal Hijrah to all! Likewise many people out there, I made resolutions for betterment in whatever roles that I play, in whatever hat that I have on my head. I pray to Allah to please bless me with good beneficial life for the rest of my life. I pray to Allah to have ample time to ensure my children to at least have good solid strong foundation in life so that they can stand on their own two feet when I am gone. I pray to Allah to bless my parents with good healthy happy golden years. I pray to Allah that my marriage will last till Jannah and that we will stand for each other come what may.

Of late, I have lots to be thankful for. Kinda made me shame on myself as I have not prayed hard enough, neither I am good enough as a muslim. Kakak, landed at first place in the final exam. Finally, the last exam in her primary school. And she finished 30 juzuk of Quran end October. Iman, who has been struggling all his life where linguistic is concerned, scored 94 in Bahasa and 60 in Math.  Not much for some mothers perhaps. Close friends of mine who know our struggle in dealing with ADHD would surely understand why I feel that way. Adam, who had sudden high fever, got better 2 days after and started reading simple words!

Anyway. We had a four day leave last weekend. There's this thing called 'forced leave' implemented at where I work. With exception to those who work on shift and very closely with operational matters, others were supposed to take replacement leave (public holiday that falls on Saturday will be replaced on other working day). We had Saturday and Sunday as weekends, Monday as replacement leave and Maal Hijrah fell on Tuesday. 

We went to Bukit Merah Laketown Resort on Saturday and left for a wedding in Bagai Serai on Sunday. Traffic was a crawl on the way back to KL. We braced the rain and the traffic and arrived home at 10:45pm. We left Kuala Sepetang at around 5:30pm. Yup, Kuala Sepetang for steaming bowls of Mee Udang :-)

Monday was Thor's day. Someone was very happy that he went to purchase the tix at 9:30am. Kedai only buka at 10:00am, mind you. You see, some people will never grow up :D

Tuesday was the day I re-ignited back my romance with the kitchen. Made some not-so-good-looking donuts post-breakfast. They were intended for breakfast but Tuesday morning was cold that it took longer time for my dough to proof.

So here's them. My friend commented 'awat donut hang dah macam serupa cokodok?' A little burnt but like I always said, that's nothing new by my standard.

The boys helped me terap this. Not so productive. They hovered the dough with donut-mould in hand and I barely managed to roll the dough thin enough, they serbu the dough already. They always try to outdo one another. Let them be. Now, let's not kill their interest and creativity, shall we? I ended up with senget benget donuts. Never mind :D

Resepi asal dari blog Kak Azlita Masam Manis. Resepi donut di sini. She has beautiful photos. She is skilled at arranging her deco and all her food look so yummy. Of course my donuts were nowhere near hers so please don't compare he he.

I altered a bit - added few spoons of powdered milk and increased the sugar as I did not intend to do the chocolate coating (cos I tak tau nak buat macamana sebenarnya ha ha)

Bahan

250 gm tepung roti
100 gm gula

3 sudubesar susu tepung

1/2 suduteh garam halus
6 gm yis
2 biji kuning telur
100 ml air suam
50 gm mentega (dicairkan)

Cara
- Campurkan semua bahan dan masukkan dalam mixer. Uli selama 10-15 minit menggunakan dough hook. Kalau dough melekat pada dinding mixing bowl, tandanya ia terlalu lembik. Tambah tepung sikit demi sedikit.

- Letakkan dough dalam bekas yang diminyakkan sedikit, tutup dengan kain. Letakkan di tempat yang agak panas selama 30-45 minit atau sehingga dough menjadi sekali ganda.

I had mine proofed for more that an hour, mungkin sebab cuaca sejuk, yis pun malas nak bangun lagi he he.Siap sempat saya morning nap while waiting for the yeast untuk beraktiviti.

- Lepas dough dah naik, tumbuk-tumbuk untuk keluarkan udara. I rolled the dough to 1/2 inch thickness and terap guna acuan donut. I think kena nipis sikit lagi coz mine turned out so tebal after 2nd proofing.

- Not wanting to tunggu lama for second proofing, I simple turned on the oven for 10 minutes at 40d. Then switched it off. After 5 minit  boleh masukkan donut yang siap dibentuk for 2nd proofing.

- After 30 minutes, boleh lah goreng. Sila goreng kejap je atas api sederhana or else yours will be as burnt as mine.

For that much of ingredients, I got 20 ketul donuts.

We were 5 happy people that day :D

kitty ran, kitty sat, kitty rolled, .. kitty died :'-(

I love cats! I always do and perhaps I will always be.

When I was small, my brothers kept 2 cats - one was named Cicak (due to the color very similar to cicak's color) and the other one Hitam, for apparent reason! Both died and each time I cried my eyes out.

When I was in university, we have this resident cat that stayed in our hostel, which I always fed and she would always came running whenever I came back from classes. When I left university, I left her and I hope someone else had taken good care of her. 

My husband, was an opposite.
Note the tense was?
He has mellowed down as far as keeping cats is concerned.

I even caught him feeding them once in a while :D

Now we have few furry residents at home, but strictly outside. Well, two of them like to sneak in and one has peed and pooped on the carpet! How could I shoo them away when they are so cute? Too cute!

When we got back from Raya break recently, those cuties were at our porch. With big soulful eyes. Ever ready to give you good time playing with them.

Tap on your feet loudly, kitty scramble away in funny way.
Scratch their back, kitty sit.
Scratch their tummy, kitty roll.
Point your camera, I swear I see kitty smile!

But they like to play and stay under my car.
On one fateful day, I started my engine and I saw a kitty ran away. Thinking I had no other passenger.. I drove away.

Perhaps you can already guess what actually happened later :'(

Barely 20 meters, I heard a thumping sound and what I had hoped not to happened, had happened. I looked in the rear mirror, I saw kitty scrambled for his life. He dragged his hind to the roadside, perhaps in unimaginable pain and agony. Then he dragged himself right to the middle of the road on the hot tar and fell. Not moving anymore.

I killed a kitty!
That ran away when I tapped my feet loudly.
That sat when I scratched its back.
That rolled when I scratched its tummy.

I had to asked 2 boys passing by to move it to the roadside. I went and fetched newspapers and a plastic bag. Wrapped kitty and gave it a proper burial in a hole Tebby had dug earlier.

It was totally absolutely unintentional. But still, the guilt haunts me. It still does.
My friends assured me it was not my fault.
But the sight of his mother searching and looking.. *sobs*
And it looked like someone made an effort digging kitty's grave.
Someone with small feet *sobs*

I am so sorry kitty. I truly am.
And mummy cat,  I am so sorry too.

embrace motherhood!

:D

Happy Mother's Day.
Ya I know but better late than never, right.

How did mine gone?
Went to MV to celebrate and was given the privilege to choose where to dine.
But Iman insisted that we go have sushi.
I just had sushi few days before.
But a mother will do what she needs to do.
Sushi it was then!

Being mom is not always sunshine and roses.
Likewise many other things in life.
Being mom you know you are actually capable of loving other people more than you love yourself.
Being mom you know there's this kind of love that doesn't have boundaries, nor it is conditional.

Embrace motherhood.
It's a lifetime position.
With good rewards too, insyaAllah.

gone but not forgotten

p.s. - members only

A friend is leaving the company after belas-belas tahun mendambakan diri. I salute her for the courage of taking the bold step in setting up her own business. I wish her well in future undertakings.

She said although she's excited, there's a tinge of sadness. Perhaps a bit of unsureness. Wouldn't we all? If we were in her shoes. 

People say, dream. And if your dream doesn't scare you, you haven't dreamed enough.

Today is her last day. Although I have known her for barely 2 years, it saddens me to see someone whose table just beside me, packed her things bit by bit and now she's ready to go living her dreams.

Good luck dear. You've surely dreamed enough!