i'm home!

I'm home! I am on non-maternity-related two-months leave. I am a special mom with a special child that needs to make that special sacrifice (from time to time). Sacrifice, isn't really the best word to describe tho, coz I am enjoying myself doing this. It's been two weeks and Iman already begs me to go back to work haha.

 

Being a stay at home mom, albeit temporary, is not easy. Hats off to those SAHM. There's always things to do. Kids always need something to eat. The boys always have something to fight over. Probably coz I haven't really get the grasp of it, yet.

I have been working since I was 23. That amounts to 17 years until now. Okay, 16 coz I took a year-off in 2010/2011. Though this is a second time I am doing this, it sometimes still feels weird not having to brace the morning traffic or rushing for the best-est ayam goreng during lunch time.

I am taking some simple translation jobs now. You know, to satisfy my ever-burning desire of buying things I want (but not necessarily need). Example, wanting the new body scrub when I still have one tub-full in the shower. 

I may leave the workforce altogether. And I may not. I don't know. I know what my priorities are but I can't (and don't) always get what I want. I believe Allah has the best of plan for me (and us all). He gives me what I need, InsyaAllah.

 

 

 

 

the passing of dear father

Assalamualaikum.
It's been awhile.

Ayahanda yang disayangi pergi meninggalkan kami, pulang ke Rahmatullah pada 28 Ogos 2014, 5:30 pagi. It happened so sudden, it left us numb with shock and grief. I have been trying to jot down my thoughts here but each time I overcame with emotions.

Routines fall back into their places soon after. After all, life has to go on. Though things will never be the same again.

I hold dearly the memories with my father. All the sacrifices he made in raising us all, those can never be repaid. I can no longer hug him. The chair he used to sit while smoking every evening seems so empty now. Too empty. No more order for my blueberry cheesecake or walnut bread. Those used to be his favorite among the mere things that I can cook. In fact, in the early day after he's gone, I seemed to lost the mere skills in baking that my husband asked me to take a rest awhile and let my feelings and emotions settle down.

Yesterday, I baked a blueberry cheesecake for Iman (his birthday is today). Likewise his Atok, that cake is also Iman's favorite. I remember when Iman was first diagnosed with ADHD + autistic traits, my father supported us emotionally. During the early days Iman finally started talking, my father called us almost everyday, to talk to Iman. Dah lama Atok tunggu Iman bercakap.

Banyak lagi kenangan. Terlalu banyak, tak tertulis.

It's been approximately two months. 

Always in my thoughts and prayers.

Ya Allah,
Kasihanilah bapaku sebagaimana dia mengasihaniku sejak kecil
Tempatkan lah bapaku bersama orang yang beriman

soon-to-be school go-er

Last Friday buat pengesahan penempatan sekolah si Adam. My... how time flies! Earlier this month Kakak turns 13 and now our youngest is going to start his primary in a few months time!

Nampak a little bit more organised this time around, the school. So far. They have arranged classes and rumah sukan. Bought a thick file and lanyard with nametag holder. Placed order for sew-on nametags, next year dapat. And since we've already known his rumah sukan, we bought the baju sukan as well. Adam is going to be in rumah merah, Panglima. Terus jugak beli tie and badge. I hope I will not procrastinate until the very last minute sebelum sekolah bukak to sew those on. Like I did previously.

Balik rumah, we showed him all the things that we bought. He was ecstatic! Tried out the tees and ties (which fall below his crotch btw). Shirt and pants of course beli sometime in Nov or Dec nanti. Actually I keep Iman's pants and shirt he wore when he was in Tahun 1, but I think Adam won't be able to fit just yet coz Iman is more on the bigger size, while Adam, he can still wear shirts size 4.
 

So now Adam, please eat a little bit more coz at the rate you are growing now, I donno adik yang bawak beg nanti, atau beg yang bawak adik.

of eid and a birthday do

My girl turned 13.

On 8th August.

Yeah, it took me that long to update on that.
Be assured Kakak, we love you loads and Happy 13th Birthday!

How time flies. I remember when she was small, with hair so thick, straight and black, eyes so wide and smile so cunning. And now she stands as tall as I am (I am short btw) and she is as curious as a cat can be, on topics I do not have answers for. Russian history, famous female fighters from ancient time, and she claims she can read a cat's emotion just by looking at the tail.

She invited some close friends the following Saturday and I baked Kek Nanas cuppies version with buttercream on top. Buttercream was a tad bit too sweet and not so nicely piped. We invited some friends in the neighborhood and my SIL for makan-makan raya as well. Just a small do with simple everyday menu.

Cleared the other-wise berserabut coffee table. Bought bekas kuih raya with wooden lid from Metrojaya and I arranged them in a metal tray bought dirt-cheap at KK Home Deco during one of my trips to PDM Ampang Hilir years ago.

Some chocolates in a glass vase. The vase is one of three, a wedding present I got from my housemates in Vista Angkasa. And grapes in a salad bowl. Pagi tu sempat pegi nursery kejap cari pokok bunga. Too bad the next day semut dah berkerumun and I had to transfer it outside.  

Nasi Goreng (first to finish, we topped up with fried bihun), fried chicken wings, Kek Gula Hangus and sambal kicap.

Made Spaghetti Bolognese as well. I also did Jelly Custard but not in picture. Last guests left at 10:30 pm. Tired? Yes. Happy? Indeed.

Anyway.

Salam Aidil Fitri! Maaf Zahir Batin.
Yeah, I know, that late.

of raya plans & moist choc cake with choc ganache

I am behind target.

Target ibadah.

Target persiapan raya.

Dan macam-macam lagi...

 

Yang boleh agak dibanggakan ialah, saya sangat kurang berbelanja untuk hal-hal remeh seperti tahun-tahun sebelum ini. Baju raya sorang sepasang, yang simple simple aje so that lepas raya nak pakai pegi ofis pun boleh. Idok le segan pakai ke ofis sebab merelit macam nak pegi kenduri kawin.

 

Konon nak buat sendiri kukis raya, tapi entahlah.. macam makin berat je nak angkat sudip dengan mixing bowl hehe. Kalau tetiba rajin pun, mungkin 2 jenis je.. PB and Jelly Bars dengan Cranberry Coconut kukis. Kononnya hari tu cuti Nuzul Quran nak buat kukis.. kononnn la kan. Sebok dengan urusan duniawi apa entah, satu pun tak jadi. Siap butter yang dah softened masuk balik fridge hehe. But cakes, insyaAllah I will bake. I have 3 in mind now, Baked Blueberry Cheesecake, Kek Nanas and Moist Choc Cake with Choc Ganache.

 

Sebetulnya saya banyak menjahit tahun ni. Baju kurung siap sepasang. Satu pasang lagi kainnya belum siap. PJ bottom kakak dapat 4 helai. Alter kaki seluar 8 pasang (that's 16 legs and that's a lot by my standard hehe) I have 2 skirts for anak sedara bongsu yang pompuan in Q .. or she calls it as seluar labuh.

 

Anyway.

I found a Moist Choc Cake recipe yang by far, I like most. I used to use cooking oil as ingredients but this one uses butter. And I substituted my choc powder to imported choc powder. With all due respect, bila guna bahan yang berkualiti, hasilnya insyaAllah better. True, they come with good price-tag. Now I understand why some people sell a box of cookies bearing the same name at RM15 and some sell at RM20+. Kalau ikut tastebud saya, butter yang best is SCS, marjerin I use Daisy. Cream cheese so far guna Tatura coz murah and bila compare dengan other brands yang more expensive, rasanya tak jauh beza. If that's the case, I'll go for cheaper ones :-)

 

Actually plan nak buat kuih lain but my elder two nak kan choc cake. Layann. Original recipe from Love2Cook. I changed a bit by using low fat milk coz I didn't have susu sejat cair at home that time.

Ingredients
1. 100 gm self-raising flour
2. 50 gm chocolate powder
3. 180 gm butter
4. 180 gm sugar
5. 2 eggs
6. 1 teaspoon vanilla extract
7. 200 ml milk (I used low fat milk)

- Combine flour and choc powder.
- Beat sugar and butter till light and pluffy.
- Add eggs one by one. Beat until well mixed.
- Add vanilla extract.
- Add flour and milk gradually. Mix well.
- Pour into a 9x9 baking pan.
- Bake at 180d for 40-45 minutes.

Saya guna api atas bawah but no fan. Kalau guna fan, saya reduce to 160d. I baked mine for 35 minutes only.

For choc ganache, saya guna resepi from Nigella. Banyak resepi call for cream but I didn't have cream at home masa tu. So gunalah resepi without cream.

Bahan-bahan
1. 100 gm milk chocolate coin (I used beryl)
2. 100 gm dark chocolate coin (I used beryl)
3. 50 gm butter
4. 100 ml milk

- Satukan semua and masak atas dapur. Saya tak guna kaedah double-boil coz saya malas nak cuci banyak periuk (boleh?). Tapi saya guna heavy-bottom sauce pan and guna api paling selow.
- Dah cair, masak sampai nampak cantik and likat sikit, then tuang atas kek.

of achievements & jelly-custard recipe

Ramadhan 2014 - Day 16. Dah lebih separuh bulan puasa. Alhamdulillah. Mari doakan saudara mara kita di Gaza yang sedang diuji hebat. Dan kesemua saudara mara kita yang ditimpa kesulitan tak kira di mana pun mereka. Yang mampu bersedekah wang ringgit, sedekahlah. Paling tidak, berdoalah.

Hari Isnin minggu lepas, Kakak terima watikah perlantikan sebagai Pengawas Pusat Sumber sekolah. Finally! Berbulan-bulan lamanya acara sepatutnya diadakan, baru Isnin lepas betul-betul terjadi. Waktu dia tamat sekolah kebangsaan, kami galakkan dia to be an active student. Waktu sekolah kebangsaan, she was an intovert, quiet student. When she told us she was appling for Pengawas PSS, ofkos lah kami sangat galakkan. And maklumkan dia that jawatan comes with responsibility and that she should not take lightly on the roles she's entrusted with.

On the same day, Iman told he nama dia kena panggil naik stage masa perhimpunan. Ahhh sudahh.... ingatkan kena denda ke apa. Rupanya dia dapat badge, Murid Mithali. Congrats Abang.

Exactly Ramadhan 10 years ago way back in 2004, I was heavily pregnant with him. On 20th Ramadhan, I gave birth to him. Never expected Allah to select us to raise a special child. It was (and still is) not sugar-and-spice-and-everything's-nice kinda thing. It was an emotional ups and downs. It was a winding road. Nevertheless, alhamdulillah, banyak belajar tentang banyak perkara. And I know more about myself. Susah nak explain, it's like mencari diri sendiri.

Of late, he's been all curious and asks lots of questions about lots of things. If he's not satisfied with our answers, he googles them up the net. Everytime there's Hari Akademik, the same comments on him being unable to concentrate, fidgeting and whatnots. And the latest, his class teacher commented that he does not act his age. He's 10 but he's 7. Imagine him back in 2011, starting year 1 at 7 years old but inside him is like a 4 years old. Must be pretty scary to be (almost) alone without us fimiliar faces in a big school.

Anyway, I am happy with his curiosity. Go explore. Go widen your world boy. I will always hold your hands until you let mine go.

Di bawah ni, saya kongsikan resepi Jelly Custard. Similar with puding trifle, cuma bahagian bawahnya tak swiss roll, instead buat custard. First time makan this combination (jelly+custard) kat rumah Elin waktu visit dia and her baby. Sejuk-sejuk... sedappp.

Bahan-bahan
1. 1 tin susu sejat cair
2. 1 tin air (sukat guna tin susu yang sama)
3. 3 sudu besar tepung custard
4. 3 sudu besar gula
5. 2 kotak jelly serbuk (saya guna Nona)
6. 1 tin buah pic dalam tin (saya guna sliced peach) - ambil buah saja

- Masukkan susu sejat, 1/2 tin air dan gula dalam periuk. Masak atas api sederhana hingga mendidih perlahan dan gula hancur.
- Campurkan 1/2 tin air dengan tepung kastad.
- Alih periuk berisi campuran susu dari api sebentar. Tuang campuran tepung kastad ke dalam campuran susu sambil mengacau.
- Kembalikan periuk ke atas dapur, teruskan memasak hingga agak likat. Hati-hati jangan sampai campuran berketul. Sentiasa kacau. Personally, saya lebih suka gunakan whisk.
- Tuang dalam acuan dan biarkan sejuk.

- Masak jelly serbuk seperti arahan pada kotak.
- Susun buah pic atas campuran kastad yang telah sejuk.
- Tuang jelly yang masih panas secara perlahan-lahan ke atas custard. Pastikan susunan buah pic tidak huru hara :)
- Biarkan sejuk sedikit, kemudian masukkan ke dalam fridge.

* Saya tambah sedikit cream corn dalam adunan kastad. Tapi anak-anak lagi suka plain, with no corn.

** Boleh juga di makan dengan whipped cream (gemok gemok!)

Selamat mencuba dan selamat meneruskan Ramadhan dengan lebih khusyuk lagi..

 

 

 

 

of kids' fasting & resepi rendang paru sempoi

Cepatnya masa berlalu. Hari ni dah pun 9 Ramadhan. Nak menghampiri 1/3 bulan dah pun. Kids are doing okay. Well, almost. Perhaps yang paling segar is, suprisingly, Iman! I thought he'd be all grumpy coz dia ni suka makan. Kakak pulak yang terkesan sangat. Penat katanya. Muka pun monyok je. As for Adam, the longest he can tahan so far is sampai pukul 6:00 petang. But he has his sahur at 6:30 btw hehe. Puasanya cuma kalau ke sekolah. Kalau kat rumah bukan main kencang makan. Walhalkan hari biasa takdelah makan macam tu..

 

5th day. sempat lagi lena.. nak suruh buat air teh-o pun rasa tak sampai hati..

 

guess who joined us for sahur on 5th day? sudahnya tak makan ponn... minum solivite jek.

 

Ibadah-wise, I haven't been doing lots of things, really. Missed terawikh once due to backpain. Read few pages of Quran per day. Salute to those who read Quran, one juz per day. I try not to miss Dhuha. I try to give more to the less fortunates. When there's something inside me stopping me, I know it's me and myself control. *ponder & reflect*

In the kitchen department, alhamdulillah, we are blessed to be able to do homecooked spread so far for iftar and sahur. Tebby and me went to pasar ramadhan once and bought otak-otak. Agak kecewa dengan rasanya... Dah rezeki penjual tu kan. Maybe it was just my taste bud that didn't agree with those otak-otak. Only one or two was eaten.

Anyway. Back to our iftar spread. Normally sampai rumah at around 6:30pm, which means we have ample time to cook in aman-aman-saja mode. Once, we got home at 7:00pm but suprisingly everything got onto the table just in time azan Maghrib kedengaran. Well, almost everthing la. Our microwave was beeping masa azan tu.. baru selesai panaskan nasi.

Last week, it was nasi for 7 days straight! My miniscule family, we don't do nasi sangat for dinner on normal days. This week, Tebby dah request menu non-nasi. But I want nasi. Semalam I did roast chicken for iftar with potatoes and baby carrrots. Selesai solat terawikh, laparrrr hehe. I had slices of bread cicah rendang paru. I did my first rendang last weekend. Good news, it turned out well, at least by my standard. Good news, orang lain semua taknak makan coz of the paru. So I had all for myself hehe. No lah, I was hoping they would enjoy it as much as I do. Kakak was super excited at first, tapi lepas tau itu paru, terus dia taknak. Next time k Kakak, Ummi buat rendang daging special for you.

 

the battlefield. bila dah mula mendidih tu, merata kena percik kuah..

 

Bahan-bahan
1. 600 gm paru, potong dadu, cuci bersih dan toskan.

2. 3 sudu besar kerisik

3. 1kg santan

4. 7 biji bawang merah

5. 5 ulas bawang putih

6. 1 inci halia
7. 1 inci lengkuas

8. 2 batang serai

9. 1 sudu besar cili boh

10. 1 sudu teh rempah kurma

11. 1 sudu teh rempah kari

12. 1 keping asam keping

13. Garam & gula secukup rasa

14. Rempah 4 sekawan (bunga lawang, cengkih, kulit kayu manis, buah pelaga)

15. 2 sudu besar minyak untuk menumis



 

- Bawang merah, bawang putih, halia, lengkuas, serai di potong kasar dan kisar dengan sedikit air.

- Satukan bahan kisar dengan paru.

- Tambah serbuk rempah kurma, rempah kari dan cili boh.
- Gaul rata dan perap sebentar.

- Panaskan minyak, tumis rempah 4 sekawan hingga naik bau.

- Masukkan paru yang diperap, masak hingga air agak kering, kacau dari masa ke masa supaya tidak melekat.

- Tuang santan, masukkan kerisik.

- Masukkan garam dan gula.

- Masak hingga hampir kering, kacau supaya tidak hangit.

- Campurkan asam keping, masak lagi hingga kering

 

Ada banyak versi resepi rendang, I ofkos ambik yang paling mudah. Daun limau purut tak letak. Ada orang masukkan santan pekat dulu, then baru santan cair. Tapi saya tak rajin camtu. Ni la yang Mok saya selalu membebel.. banyak benda nak short cut hehe... but ofkoslah, rendang Mok saya always the best. Tak boleh lawan.